The Break-Up

 I'm not so used to write about these kind of stuff such as dating or relationships and e.t.c, but recent events of a friend of mines have made me realise some things. I've never had to worried about getting hurt or going through a rough break-up because I never let myself get too attouched... I can't understand how can someone you love, care and vice versa, can actually destroy you?

I don't know how that feels, I mean how can you let someone put you down, make you feel that you are not worth of anything... How?  I've watched my friends getting hurt and cry over a boy, break-up after break-up and so on.... and each time it was even more painful for them. It literally made me so emotionally exhausted just by comforting my best friends that I made a promise to myself that I would never end up like this. Crying over someone who litterally doesn't care or ends a relationship with a shitty excuse of "It's me, not you and I need some time to think to revaluate myself" and so on... Although, there are some relationships that end because of circumstances that are out of control on both parts but those are very rare. The cause of a break-up is mostly because one of the two or both parts don't or can't try anymore to work on it. Or there is case where one part doesn't know what he or she wants from the other and again it ends in a break-up. In that circumstance, I would have ended on the minute he told me "I don't know what I want" because a person who is undecisive and doesn't know where he stands, believe me, it can rip you apart emotionally little by litle, each and every day just by thinking about it. There is no such thing as "We are on a break", like F.R.I. E. N. D. S😉, so you either are together or not. So you better spare yourself the hurt by ending it right there.

I know I'm not the best person to ask about those things because I never had a serious relationship mostly because of that promise. I had those kind of relationships of dating for like couple a month or two and most of them were in stages of flirting, teasing, going out on some dates and when it got to the part of actually doing something...I just walked away. I know most would say that's wrong because you don't let yourself to feel but the truth is I never met someone who made want to feel more. Yes, there is attraction but no feels. For me relationships are like maths: attraction+feelings+ determination= relationship. If in this equation something is missing, there is no relationship...so it's better to walk away to spare the hurt on both.

Again I'm not the right person to ask because I'm no marriage counselor but I know this! Never let anyone pull you down with them and make you reach a point where you can't deal with yourself, where having thoughts of sort like "I want to die". Believe me those kind of people,
toxic people, you don't want them in your life. I gave this speech to my friend for like ten to twenty times these couple of days... It really hurts me to see people, I care, to feel like that. Going through a break-up is rough and I know it's a matter of change because you lose a person from your life basically forever, a person where you thought he was going to stay for a long time. But no one has the right to make you feel so much hurt. Not even the closest person in your whole life! You stand up on your own, you built the walls you need for yourself and let in the people that are actually worth it.

You can call me a cold bitch or whatever you want but I'm lucky to have learned those things from just being present and observing those things on other people's lives and not experience it myself. I actually spared myself from this kind of hurt...for now and I don't think I actually had the change to do it because, as I said, I walked away. I had my own, depressing, things to worry about. I didn't need that as well and I think I still don't want to engage myself with dating when I feel nothing for the othet after a while. 

Moral of the story, no one has the right to pull you down, to destroy you, to make you feel you don't want to live anymore. You are yourself's enemy and destroyer, no one else is, so it's up to you to not let anyone do that! You need to metarmorphor yourself from destroyer to guardian! Be you and never let anyone change and destroy you!

This gingerhead is out!

Angela.