'Hell is Other People'

Many say that we create our circumstances, that we are responsible for our feelings, our situation or even how we got into something that couldn't get out off. That statement is part true and here is why. Yes, we control on how we respond and how we feel but not entirely because sometimes we are not the person or the cause that got into whatever we are going through. Thus, the statement: 'Hell is other People'.

I've being delying a lot to understand the meaning of this because I didn't want to know that other people have control over me because I'm the master of myself, right? Although, recently I realised that, that is not entirely true and I shouldn't ignored it anymore.

You see sometimes other people create situations for you without your consent. Now, don't get on me I will explain what I mean. I'm going to give you an example. Have you ever waked up in the morning and felt very energetic, happy and when you come across a person, you are close to or you care about or even you used to care... they do something that affects your mood, whether is related to you or not, and then suddenly you are not happy or energetic anymore. Just besause that person did something.

When someone states that 'Hell is Other People' he means that they or whoever, can create a way that  turns into the worst for us. Basically, Hell is other people because we are, in some way, trapped within a person or a situation. More specific a subject to their apprehension of you. Our Hell is what other people have created for us. You can't control it entirely, even if you ignore it. You are in a situation where a person has created a way to make you feel miserable or sad and yes, be in hell. 

You will realise that I'm not entirely wrong and see that sometimes we go through hell because of others. You may ask how to end it but there is no answer. The only thing that anyone can do is to contain it and indure it with everything that he has. Otherwise, you are cheating yourself by giving up. The outcome of that is in the hands of that person whether he lets it affect him more or less and of course if he has power over it.

What I've learned is that, even if I don't have control over this, the best is to indure it and of course in the best way I can because if I let it or anyone consume me in their darkness, you are long gone. You are obligated to not let that happen due to the fact that in the end you are going to be the one who destroyed yourself and not them who put you in that Hell.
My advise, whichever hell you are going through and whoever put you there...You only know how to overcome it because as I said you are the master of yourself, not them...

This gingerhead is out!

The Term of "Obsession"

 Every person in this world has something that swoons or "obsesses" over. Some people swoon over books, others over movies and others, which is the most common one, boy bands. We all have something that makes us forget where we are and escape our reality. The most common use of it is as a shield, as a defence from the world. I like to call it; "Living in my own bubble."
  My "obsession" started way to earlier from most people. I started swooning over things when the "problems" started, when I couldn't understand common matters of life. Every teenager goes through that phase on not carrying about anything but a certain thing. Have you ever noticed that when you start undrestanding what's going on around you, you realise that is better being on your own world than living in the real one? I read books to live in those worlds and not being present in the real one. Most people are swooning, "obsessing" over things because they don't want to deal with their reality. It's what keeps them sane from the mess that ravels around them because that is the only thing that gives them hope that anything bad can be good again, no matter what. At least that's how I see it...

Let me give you an example. Do you know the korean boyband, Bangtan Sonyeondan "BTS"?  Many people swoon over them. They have "literally" taken all over the world, including me and do you know why is that happening? Due to the fact that BTS sends messages of hope, love and living a happy life even if everything is messed up just through their music. That boy band has worked very hard for being where they are today and that shows to people that anyone can accomplish anything only if they want to. People "obsess" over them because of what they represent. When people see their idols creating something unique, it makes them believe in something and not let their sadness or whatever happens in their lives to push them down.

 I certainly "obsess" over things and still do because it is what keeps me from not giving up from my dreams. I read books for their unique worlds that they represent. I see movies, drama series for the lessons they show. I listen to music due to it reveals that life has magic in it and lastly I write for the better world I want to build. These are my "obsessions". Those are the things that I swoon over! Those are the things that give me hope for life and the key to a happy one. I obsess over the ideas that they represent. I've never "obsessed" over things that I couldn't have... I swooned over the things that it was possible for me to obtain. 

So the "nice" term of obsession is not being attouched to something that can lead to bad conflicts, to everlasting infatuattion but something that gives you the protection from your problems, something that gives you the push to be better, to make great things and isn't it what everyone wants? Being "obsessed" with something is not bad as long as it keeps you in a reality check and not in the insane line. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. Swooning over things is sometimes the only thing that keeps a person happy...

Now don't go on and saying I'm crazy, I hope you understood on what I'm talking about 😂😂.  I hope someone can relate to this. I certainly did. 

I want to thank you for some of the emails and DMs of gratitude I got from you guys and made me feel that I don't write these stuff just for myself. I'm touched that other people feel the same way I do or that I make some others to process stuff that they didn't before. Thank you. Really.

This gingerhead is out!

Angela

   

The Break-Up

 I'm not so used to write about these kind of stuff such as dating or relationships and e.t.c, but recent events of a friend of mines have made me realise some things. I've never had to worried about getting hurt or going through a rough break-up because I never let myself get too attouched... I can't understand how can someone you love, care and vice versa, can actually destroy you?

I don't know how that feels, I mean how can you let someone put you down, make you feel that you are not worth of anything... How?  I've watched my friends getting hurt and cry over a boy, break-up after break-up and so on.... and each time it was even more painful for them. It literally made me so emotionally exhausted just by comforting my best friends that I made a promise to myself that I would never end up like this. Crying over someone who litterally doesn't care or ends a relationship with a shitty excuse of "It's me, not you and I need some time to think to revaluate myself" and so on... Although, there are some relationships that end because of circumstances that are out of control on both parts but those are very rare. The cause of a break-up is mostly because one of the two or both parts don't or can't try anymore to work on it. Or there is case where one part doesn't know what he or she wants from the other and again it ends in a break-up. In that circumstance, I would have ended on the minute he told me "I don't know what I want" because a person who is undecisive and doesn't know where he stands, believe me, it can rip you apart emotionally little by litle, each and every day just by thinking about it. There is no such thing as "We are on a break", like F.R.I. E. N. D. S😉, so you either are together or not. So you better spare yourself the hurt by ending it right there.

I know I'm not the best person to ask about those things because I never had a serious relationship mostly because of that promise. I had those kind of relationships of dating for like couple a month or two and most of them were in stages of flirting, teasing, going out on some dates and when it got to the part of actually doing something...I just walked away. I know most would say that's wrong because you don't let yourself to feel but the truth is I never met someone who made want to feel more. Yes, there is attraction but no feels. For me relationships are like maths: attraction+feelings+ determination= relationship. If in this equation something is missing, there is no relationship...so it's better to walk away to spare the hurt on both.

Again I'm not the right person to ask because I'm no marriage counselor but I know this! Never let anyone pull you down with them and make you reach a point where you can't deal with yourself, where having thoughts of sort like "I want to die". Believe me those kind of people,
toxic people, you don't want them in your life. I gave this speech to my friend for like ten to twenty times these couple of days... It really hurts me to see people, I care, to feel like that. Going through a break-up is rough and I know it's a matter of change because you lose a person from your life basically forever, a person where you thought he was going to stay for a long time. But no one has the right to make you feel so much hurt. Not even the closest person in your whole life! You stand up on your own, you built the walls you need for yourself and let in the people that are actually worth it.

You can call me a cold bitch or whatever you want but I'm lucky to have learned those things from just being present and observing those things on other people's lives and not experience it myself. I actually spared myself from this kind of hurt...for now and I don't think I actually had the change to do it because, as I said, I walked away. I had my own, depressing, things to worry about. I didn't need that as well and I think I still don't want to engage myself with dating when I feel nothing for the othet after a while. 

Moral of the story, no one has the right to pull you down, to destroy you, to make you feel you don't want to live anymore. You are yourself's enemy and destroyer, no one else is, so it's up to you to not let anyone do that! You need to metarmorphor yourself from destroyer to guardian! Be you and never let anyone change and destroy you!

This gingerhead is out!

Angela.

  

Dream VS Reality

  Reality is the state of things as they exist, as opposed to an idealistic idea of them. The quality of having existence or substance. On the other hand, a dream is the state where someone indulges in daydreams or fantasies about something greatly desired.

The question is to which of those two do we want more to live in? If you ask every person on this planet, the ninety percent are going to answer that they are not happy in their reality but they will choose that. Why though? Why choosing something they are not happy with and not live in their dreams?

Dreams are not real, that's the answer you are going to get. Some people chose to live in their dreams and gone mad. Reality is real, it's not fake, it's not a fantasy. A dream is but... here is where most people are wrong. Dreams are not necessary fake, they can become reality, that's what most people ignore. When we are asked in which do we want to live in, the answer must always be "I want to make my dreams a reality, so I choose to live in my dreams that will eventually become my reality..."

I never thought that those two are connected. I always believed that dreams are a series of images, thoughts and sensations that occure in a person's mind during sleep and not something that can be real... My reality was never something that had to do with dreams and most people's don't. It's very important for people to have hope that one day their dreams are going to become real because without them, we have nothing. We forget something very important, though; The lost tool to connect those two.

That is called action. The distance between a dream and reality is called action. 

People forget that we have the power to change our reality. It's in our hands but we ignore it. I'm not blaming or accusing anyone about about that because it's in human nature to victimise our selves. For some reason, we don't take action to change what we want because, I don't know, we think that we don't deserve it, that we have to be miserable and accept the fact that this is our life. No, that' not how life works. Life would not give her hand to us and give us everything we want. We write our lives, our destiny and make our reality. If our reality is not something we love to live in, then change it. 

We should never let the reality that we hate, for now, to interfere with our dreams due to the fact that reality can't see, what we can see. Never let anyone tell you that dreaming is a waste of time.

I consider myself a dreamer, I believe that I can change the world. I deem that dreamers are the ones that we call fighters. Fighters for a better reality. Never give up for what you are fighting for, be in the reality that you choose, not what others choose for you. Be in the state where you love to live in your reality, where reality and dreams mean the same thing...

This gingerhead is out!

Angela.