The Break-Up

 I'm not so used to write about these kind of stuff such as dating or relationships and e.t.c, but recent events of a friend of mines have made me realise some things. I've never had to worried about getting hurt or going through a rough break-up because I never let myself get too attouched... I can't understand how can someone you love, care and vice versa, can actually destroy you?

I don't know how that feels, I mean how can you let someone put you down, make you feel that you are not worth of anything... How?  I've watched my friends getting hurt and cry over a boy, break-up after break-up and so on.... and each time it was even more painful for them. It literally made me so emotionally exhausted just by comforting my best friends that I made a promise to myself that I would never end up like this. Crying over someone who litterally doesn't care or ends a relationship with a shitty excuse of "It's me, not you and I need some time to think to revaluate myself" and so on... Although, there are some relationships that end because of circumstances that are out of control on both parts but those are very rare. The cause of a break-up is mostly because one of the two or both parts don't or can't try anymore to work on it. Or there is case where one part doesn't know what he or she wants from the other and again it ends in a break-up. In that circumstance, I would have ended on the minute he told me "I don't know what I want" because a person who is undecisive and doesn't know where he stands, believe me, it can rip you apart emotionally little by litle, each and every day just by thinking about it. There is no such thing as "We are on a break", like F.R.I. E. N. D. S😉, so you either are together or not. So you better spare yourself the hurt by ending it right there.

I know I'm not the best person to ask about those things because I never had a serious relationship mostly because of that promise. I had those kind of relationships of dating for like couple a month or two and most of them were in stages of flirting, teasing, going out on some dates and when it got to the part of actually doing something...I just walked away. I know most would say that's wrong because you don't let yourself to feel but the truth is I never met someone who made want to feel more. Yes, there is attraction but no feels. For me relationships are like maths: attraction+feelings+ determination= relationship. If in this equation something is missing, there is no relationship...so it's better to walk away to spare the hurt on both.

Again I'm not the right person to ask because I'm no marriage counselor but I know this! Never let anyone pull you down with them and make you reach a point where you can't deal with yourself, where having thoughts of sort like "I want to die". Believe me those kind of people,
toxic people, you don't want them in your life. I gave this speech to my friend for like ten to twenty times these couple of days... It really hurts me to see people, I care, to feel like that. Going through a break-up is rough and I know it's a matter of change because you lose a person from your life basically forever, a person where you thought he was going to stay for a long time. But no one has the right to make you feel so much hurt. Not even the closest person in your whole life! You stand up on your own, you built the walls you need for yourself and let in the people that are actually worth it.

You can call me a cold bitch or whatever you want but I'm lucky to have learned those things from just being present and observing those things on other people's lives and not experience it myself. I actually spared myself from this kind of hurt...for now and I don't think I actually had the change to do it because, as I said, I walked away. I had my own, depressing, things to worry about. I didn't need that as well and I think I still don't want to engage myself with dating when I feel nothing for the othet after a while. 

Moral of the story, no one has the right to pull you down, to destroy you, to make you feel you don't want to live anymore. You are yourself's enemy and destroyer, no one else is, so it's up to you to not let anyone do that! You need to metarmorphor yourself from destroyer to guardian! Be you and never let anyone change and destroy you!

This gingerhead is out!

Angela.

  

The "Last Day" on Earth

They say when you wake up in the morning you quite have a feeling of how that day is going to go. Whether you are optimistic, pessimist or you don't even believe in omens but deep down you know even if you can't explain it. I never questioned my gut, my sixth sence whatever you want call it because most of the times it was never out of line. What I mean is that whatever omen, foreboding, bad feeling or even a good one I had, it always happened. I always went with my gut and when I didn't follow it, nothing was in my favor. Everything was like a roller coaster... Am I the only one? Am I crazy or something or other people feel like that as well?

So my main question is this: Did you ever wake up and felt like this is your "last day" on earth? Now do not get worried or exited, some may be 😆, I mean like waking up and feeling like this is the last day of how your world is going to be, like it is the "last day" on earth. You wake up and you notice more of the things around you, you pay more attention like you are seeing them for the last time... How do you explain this? Is there actually an explaination for this? Is it something that we should give more attention to or it's just the way we see things? Does that happen when we actually start to see the things around us? When we actually start to notice?

For the first time, I don't have an actual answer, logical or even a philosophical one. I do have an hypothesis but I can't express it because I don't want to scare anyone. Sometimes, some things need to keep them to yourself...

Do you know what's funny? People tend to realise things they didn't before, during a spectucular event. Do you know that today is the Great Conjunction between Jupiter and Saturn? The Maya said that this is the actual day of the ending and not back 2012... I say its bullshit because the ending is going to come when you are not expecting it. Anyways, NASA named this phenomenon "The Star of Bethlehem" because at night this conjunction is going to light up the sky just like the day of Christmas. It has a very significant impact on most of us even if you don't believe it or not. I always wondered why all those stuff happened and what is the meaning of it. You know just regular existing questions, I think... I would like to tracode this as just a sign of something new. I mean last time it happened the son of God came to us. Maybe this time it will happen something else...

The only conclusion I can come to is that whenever something happens, astronomical, spectacular, regular or even events that can't be explained, the "sci-fi" ones as many would charactirise, there is always a reason behind it and I don't think people are ready to know about, especially me. So yeah, I could blame this feeling, of being my "last day" on earth, on this just to calm my nerves but I know that is not so true but I'm going to skip it and continue with whatever happens next...

I hope I didn't trigger anything on you guys because I can be a little bit out of the blue but this is who I am. Anyways, let me know if anyone is feeling like this, not just today, in general.

This gingerhead is out!

Angela.

Dream VS Reality

  Reality is the state of things as they exist, as opposed to an idealistic idea of them. The quality of having existence or substance. On the other hand, a dream is the state where someone indulges in daydreams or fantasies about something greatly desired.

The question is to which of those two do we want more to live in? If you ask every person on this planet, the ninety percent are going to answer that they are not happy in their reality but they will choose that. Why though? Why choosing something they are not happy with and not live in their dreams?

Dreams are not real, that's the answer you are going to get. Some people chose to live in their dreams and gone mad. Reality is real, it's not fake, it's not a fantasy. A dream is but... here is where most people are wrong. Dreams are not necessary fake, they can become reality, that's what most people ignore. When we are asked in which do we want to live in, the answer must always be "I want to make my dreams a reality, so I choose to live in my dreams that will eventually become my reality..."

I never thought that those two are connected. I always believed that dreams are a series of images, thoughts and sensations that occure in a person's mind during sleep and not something that can be real... My reality was never something that had to do with dreams and most people's don't. It's very important for people to have hope that one day their dreams are going to become real because without them, we have nothing. We forget something very important, though; The lost tool to connect those two.

That is called action. The distance between a dream and reality is called action. 

People forget that we have the power to change our reality. It's in our hands but we ignore it. I'm not blaming or accusing anyone about about that because it's in human nature to victimise our selves. For some reason, we don't take action to change what we want because, I don't know, we think that we don't deserve it, that we have to be miserable and accept the fact that this is our life. No, that' not how life works. Life would not give her hand to us and give us everything we want. We write our lives, our destiny and make our reality. If our reality is not something we love to live in, then change it. 

We should never let the reality that we hate, for now, to interfere with our dreams due to the fact that reality can't see, what we can see. Never let anyone tell you that dreaming is a waste of time.

I consider myself a dreamer, I believe that I can change the world. I deem that dreamers are the ones that we call fighters. Fighters for a better reality. Never give up for what you are fighting for, be in the reality that you choose, not what others choose for you. Be in the state where you love to live in your reality, where reality and dreams mean the same thing...

This gingerhead is out!

Angela.  

What exactly we do mean with the word Love?

What exactly do we desire to get, to have in life? Power? Control? or Love?

Those three words have being running in my mind recently... Can someone live without love? or Do we need power over things and control to survive? 

We need control over our lives to survive life. We need power in order to make a difference. We need to love so the world can be a better place to live in. What I'm trying to say is that we need to control things in order to be as it has to be. For instance, we need to control oursleves, we need to control our wants, our dreams, our lives. Here how power comes in the picture. In order to achieve our dreams, our passions, to make things better we need to be powerful, strong for us and for the people who look up to us to make it right.

I've asked myself how love fits in the picture, what exactly is it. We understnd the defintion of power and control because those two words existed from the beginning of time, without even knowing. I mean since the beginning humans had the need to control and to be powerful. Love wasn't something they knew. Love was a feeling were no one could understand and what was its purpose and stil some don't. Did you know that they gave the feeling for the first time, we call now love, a name in the ancient times?

Ancient Greeks had diveded love in four kinds: Storge, Philia, Eros and Agape.

Those are the four kinds of love. Storge is the kind of love you have with a person you feel familiarity. Philia is the feeling you have for a person you call friend. Eros is, the most common kind of love we all know, with someone you romantically desire, attraction and last but not least Agape is the self-emptying, divine love.

There is no separation between the four of them of which we need most. We need all four to survive. I think that no one actually knows what love is. Poets, painters, writers, philosophers tried to give a definition but no one actually knew what is it...

What is love?

No one knows exactly and no one can actually create an exact definition for it. All people know in some terms what it is because they felt it but if you ask each and every one of them no one is going to give you the answer that you seek...

I'm twenty and I never actually felt what love is... I had the two of the four kinds in my life. Storge and Philia. They are important but to tell what exactly love feels and is you have to have all four them... Some people never get to have that and die without knowing. If you ask what's the most difficult kind to get, is the last one.

Is not Philia, is not Storge, it's not even Eros, it's Agape.

Agape is the divine love were you love yourself and everyone around you. Is the love that God has given us, is the love that Jesus was talking about, is the love for serenity and soul calmness. Galini as we call it in greek.

That kind of love. I don't think anyone actually had felt all four so that's why it's difficult to give a definition.

I read in most books that Love is the thing stronger than anything. Stronger than Fear, Power and, that's going to sound cliche, Evil.

I believe it is. Without it there will be Chaos. Not control, not power but love if we don't have love in our hearts there will be Chaos and Destruction. 

I don't know how anyone can be happy without it. I certaintly know that I can't live without it...

Anyway, I hope I didn't make you feel out of the blue...

This gingerhead is out!

Angela.